A Sort-of Surprise Welcome Home Party
by Lynda Loyde
Summary: "Tobias, I didn't just break the sculpture last night, I broke your heart along with it. I should be the one with a Lou Malnati's at your doorstep. No, I don't even deserve to hold a Lou Malnati's at your doorstep. I let you down. How am I supposed to forgive myself for that?" "Look Tris, this is an apology pizza. Please take it or I will start crying, right here in front of you."


**A/N: Okay, so as I was on Tumblr, I stumbled upon this list of writing prompts and I got this Fourtris scene in my head and I just had to write it down and like well...**

 **I don't even know if it is good. I just wrote it on a whim. It's like a drabble-one-shot thing? I mean like, it's 1 in the morning and I don't know how well are my editing skills this late in the night, but this thing is here and I need to post it and I love you guys so much and I want to tell you guys that I am still here and sometimes writing. And I am actually thinking of writing Four's Driving Lesson's next chapters- have started actually. And that I will hopefully be able to write this modern AU Fourtris I have in mind for this NaNoWriMo. I like the story I'm planning. It's something a bit new for me because it plays with a lot of heavy emotions and changes and dealing with all of the shit happening in your life. But we'll see how it turns out later.**

 **Now, this drabble-one-shot thing is about Tris planning a sort-of surprise welcome home party but she screwed things up and Tobias came home too early and like... I don't know. You guys read and tell me how you feel about it?**

 **Oh, and I don't even know if Lou Malnati's is good, but my brother loves it like so much and complains about not having any deep-dish pizza as good as Lou Malnati's ever since he left Illinois every single time the word pizza is mentioned.**

 **So yeah.**

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 **Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent (and Lou Malnati's).**

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She didn't mean to. She told him as much.

But when Tobias ignored her phone calls and text messages for the whole day, Tris feared that Tobias doesn't believe her.

She was just cleaning up his room when it happened.

Tobias was supposed to arrive back home from his one month stay in Silicon Valley for some summer camp computer engineering course which he took yesterday. He had strictly told her to not wait for him since he will be arriving at midnight and the bus stop isn't a safe place and he doesn't want to be the reason when she ends up getting mugged. But then she thought that if she can't wait for him at the bus stop, then she can definitely wait for him in his cheap bachelor apartment. And because she was feeling so excited to surprise her lover, she found herself unlocking his front door even before the sun had set and god damn it, the place was a living hell! There were greased plates in the sink, stinky jeans on his sofa, books with the word computer or IT written on it sprawled all over the dining table, and his makeshift bed is looking more like a kids' makeshift pillow tent after they have decided that the game is boring and decided to wreck the whole tent down.

So Tris thought that she can probably clean up the place as an even bigger surprise. Maybe even cook dinner for him.

Except that that is not how it happened.

Because the moment she rolled up her sleeves and moved to put away the dried dishes stacked beside the sink, she just so conveniently elbowed Tobias's blue glass sculpture down to the ground.

Tobias's blue glass sculpture which his mother gave him when he was a child.

The blue glass sculpture which his mother gave him on the first real birthday he ever had because his father wasn't there to tell him that his birthday is unnecessary and unimportant and a waste of time and money and effort.

And right at that moment, the front door swings open. The face which she had been so desperate to see for the past month appearing behind that door—and yet she is suddenly filled with dread.

But dread would be an understatement to what she felt after seeing his reaction.

The look in his eyes... Tris couldn't even name them all. She definitely had surprised him alright, but it wasn't the kind of surprise which she was thinking of. He was supposed to feel the happy and warmed and loved kind of surprise, but this surprise was accompanied by hurt and grieve and betrayal all swirling together in his eyes. Swirling and swirling into a dark pool and when he looked up at her, his eyes are filled with anger.

He told her to get out.

Out of his apartment.

To just fucking leave.

But she couldn't leave because she was so sad and angry at herself. Sad and angry for being so stupid and clumsy. Sad and angry for breaking the one thing which he still keeps from his childhood because it is the only one item which isn't tainted with the awful memory of his fucked up family and screwed up upbringing.

She wanted to comfort him because he is so fucking hurt and, and he was trembling. Tobias _never_ trembles. Not when he is sad, not when he is mad... Tobias is supposed to be this seemingly emotionless man because he never, ever shows a hint of his emotions to people. He bottles up his feelings so well that it takes effort for him to show his emotions to her.

And yet here he is, trembling right in front of her, his hands shaking, his jaws knotted up so tightly that it's twitching and his eyes brimming with tears.

She moved to reach out a hand at him, and he shouts at her. Shouts and screams and cries, tears running down his cheeks as he told her to get out and away from his life.

She told him that it was an accident. That she really didn't mean to break it. But she wasn't sure if he heard her voice over his own.

And so she left, quietly with her head bowed down and a hand on her mouth to muffle her own cries and whimpers.

She tried to not bother him. To not call or message him. To get out and away from his life. But she couldn't resist the urge to press the few buttons on her cell phone. And like, they have been together for months now; not to count the years of friendship they had before that. Surely this is just one of those rocky waves in the sea. Surely he can't stay mad at her forever.

Her mother told her that he had probably left his phone elsewhere and he wasn't purposely ignoring her calls and messages. But the double blue ticks and lack of reply messages on their conversation page definitely scream otherwise.

And like, who is she kidding? She totally hurt him last night. He _told_ her to not wait for him and yet she just had to act like a smart ass. She doesn't deserve to be forgiven. He _should_ stay angry at her because she was so clumsy and stupid and dumb!

Christina stopped by to pick her up for some cinema trip which she had somehow signed up for the week before. And Christina, being Christina, notices the abnormal red colour in her eyes and demanded to know what happened. At first, Tris tried to deny it. To say that nothing happened and that it was just an allergic reaction. But Christina chided her and told her that it is an obvious lie. And so Tris said that she was tired. Tired and angry and messed up and she doesn't want to talk about it.

Christina backed off and stepped out of the house, closing the door behind her; but Tris knows that that was not even the beginning of Christina's questioning. That it will just take her seconds before she realises that she really needs to know what has happened and she'd be back, probing her relentlessly until she gets her answers.

And just like that, the doorbell was ringing again.

Tris considered leaving the door to just curl inside her closet again, and she had walked towards her room, climbing up the staircase when her mother asked her to see who is at the door.

With a huff and an intention to scream at Christina's face with just as much enthusiasm as Tobias had as he screamed at her last evening, Tris tore the front door open—to find a large box of Lou Malnatti's deep dish pizza staring at her.

"I shouldn't have screamed at you. I was so shocked and surprised that I over-reacted. I don't want you to get out and away from my life. I just..."

Tris bit into the insides of her cheeks when his sentence drawled off. Her eyes travelled slowly up from the pizza box, to the dark blue sleeves of his rumpled and creased polo, and up to the even darker blue colour of his eyes.

"I really, really didn't mean to do it. I am so sorry, Tris. Please forgive me."

Her lips tried to lift up into a smile, but her anger refuses to let it happen. Not an anger directed at him, but the anger directed at her own self.

"Tobias... I didn't just break the sculpture last night, I broke _your heart_ along with it. I saw the look on your face Tobias—you were hurt, and I saw it, and I don't think that I can ever apologise myself for doing that. I don't deserve this. _I_ should be the one with a Lou Malnati's at your doorstep. No, I don't even deserve to hold a Lou Malnati's at your doorstep. I do not deserve your apology. I— I **let you down**. How am I supposed to forgive myself for that?"

"Tris, please don't start blaming yourself like this."

His eyes were pleading at her, begging for her to take the pizza and to just forget that last night ever happened and forgive him. And she could and she would and she _had_ forgiven him. She wasn't even angry at him. But she still can't forgive herself for it. She felt so awful and guilty and...

"When I read that message that you sent, I understood that you meant well. That you were just planning to throw me a sort-of surprise welcome home party. And I am grateful for that. I feel so honoured to have a girlfriend who is as caring and thoughtful and loving as you are. And I thought that I should just reply your messages to tell you that I have forgiven you. But it didn't feel right. The way I acted on my anger last night, I could have physically hurt you. And there is no excuse for my behaviour, Tris. Not even a broken sculpture of golden memories. And Tris, even though I loved that sculpture so much, I love you even more. That sculpture couldn't compare to you. If I would have ended up in a situation where I have to either save you or the sculpture from falling off a cliff, I wouldn't even hesitate to save you."

"But Tobias, I—"

"Look Tris, this is an apology pizza. Please take it or I will start crying, right here in front of you all over again."

Tris couldn't help it.

Her anger lets go of the corners of her lips, and she smiled.

She smiled and took the box of pizza, setting it aside to place a kiss right in the middle of _his_ own smile.

"I forgive you." She sighs as she steps down from her tiptoes to place her arms around his body and place her head on his chest. "I wasn't even angry at you in the beginning, and the pizza wasn't even necessary really. But I do love Lou Malnati's, so thank you. Oh, and I love you too."

"Okay, when you say love," Tobias starts, his voice rumbling deep in his chest. "Do you mean like love, love, or like love as in loving the pizza?"

Tris throws her head back in laughter and kicked him in his shin. "I love, love you, you dork."

And as it turns out, this is an even better sort-of surprise welcome home party than the one that she had in mind.


End file.
